Uh, I’m not too sure about you…..
This Sunday we took our daughter, Lexi, to meet some of my husband’s lifelong family friends. They are delightful, wonderful, warm and welcoming and thrilled to meet our sweet girl. Considering my husband and their son have been friends since they were 3, you might say that these are like another set of grandparents for Lexi. Everyone’s expectations were set that she would welcome them just as excitedly as she has every other person to date. Visions of soft focus smiling and hugging and giggles come to mind but, our usually smiley, sweet, bubbly daughter burst into tears at the sight of them. Oh my – we weren’t expecting that.
“She doesn’t like me”, Grandma whispers. “No, no I assure you, she just doesn’t know you and this is a new thing. It’s not unusual for a baby to go through a stranger anxiety phase. It just happens to have started with you.” Oh crap. That probably didn’t make her feel any better. But we move on, with Lexi alternatively burying her head in my neck and swinging around to stare at everyone, taking it all in and deciding whether or not she agreed with our choice of afternoon company.
So we’ve officially begun the stranger anxiety phase. I know that this will pass and we will ensure that we do all the things the ‘experts’ recommend to make sure she doesn’t feel scared or threatened but it brought up a bigger question in my mind. How exactly do we instill a healthy curiosity in our child about others without judgement yet arm her with the tools to assess a situation/stanger to determine if it/they are safe? Let’s face it, as adults it is often difficult – it is filled with such nuace that I’m not sure how to put this in terms that a child can understand. Fortunately, I have a little bit of time before we get to that but still…
This is one that I don’t want us to muddle through or make a mistake with. So, you can bet I’ll be looking for advice from friends, family and the experts on this one.
I’d love to hear how you’ve handled this with your precious kids.
